Tuesday, March 31, 2009

First Little Part of a BIG Story I'm Working On

Well, I've been looking at a few blogs and I guess people like to post things that they've written. So, I've decided to post the first little part of my "novel" or whatever. I mean there's a lot that needs to be done with it and I haven't even written half of it (only the first 18 pages) but I've gotten more motivated lately to write more in it. Anywho, I don't want to overwhelm you guys or anything so I'll only post the first little itty-bitty bit for now. More will come later, but I'd just like to see if you guys like it or not. Also, the title for now is "The Test" but that will definitely change. Anywho, here it is! Let me know if you'd like me to post more! (And yes, I've always loved Ari's name so I used it as the name for my main character, only altered the full name slightly. I hope that's ok :) ).

"Ari, it's time to go," her father says, watching Ariana brush her hair. "We don't want to be late; you don't want to miss your instructions. It’s no way to start your test." She wiped a tear from her already tear-soaked face and picked up her bag, the only thing they allowed her to bring.
As they drove, she couldn't help but wonder what the next little while would do to her, how it would change her life and the way she lived. She had been training rigorously for the test ever since she could walk. Would she become a completely different person after everything was over? Would she be better or worse that she was before? What would she learn from the test? And, the most important question, would she be able to survive? These were questions she’d been asking herself her entire life, but they held more significance now that she was merely hours away from the beginning.
Ariana and her parents arrived at the place everyone was told to meet. It was a strange building she had never seen before. Shaped cylindrically and made of brick, the building appeared to be spiraling upward, reaching towards the sky to escape. She'd never seen a building made of brick before. The architecture didn’t particularly amaze her other than that, though; just a plain building with doors. Ariana expected something that was slightly more elaborate in its design than this seemingly boring building. Nevertheless, her parents assured her that this was where they were supposed to be. So, reluctantly, she followed them in.
The inside was nothing spectacular either. The walls were plain brick with no pictures, posters or windows of any kind. Her parents slowly led her to an elevator. But instead of approaching the entrance of the elevator with her, her parents stopped about five feet away. Ariana looked to see how many floors there were, but there were no numbers, only an arrow pointing down. She turned around and asked, "Aren't you coming with me?" Her mother's eyes misted as she said, 'No, Ari, we are not permitted to go any farther with you. We will see you soon, but from here until you are finished you must continue on your own." Tears poured freely down Ariana's face. She couldn’t leave them, not yet. She thought she'd at least have an hour or so with them. Ariana felt a knot in her stomach as she looked at her parents for one last time, and wondered if she would ever see them again. She leapt into her mother's arms, "You'll be home soon," she said. "This test will be hard for you, but it is for the best. We are so proud of you for your willingness to take this test." Ariana quickly shot a, "Thanks, Mom," as a tear trickled down her cheek.
She then turned to her father. He took her in his arms, and whispered in her ear, "You'll be back before you know it. We will pray for you every day." Then he pulled her away and looked her in the eyes. "This test is very rigorous, and will change your life. I've seen you in your training, and I know you will succeed. Never lose faith in yourself and what you're doing. You will survive if you just remember that and how much we love you. It will be hard, make no mistake about that. But the experience and knowledge you will gain will be irreplaceable. Your mother and I couldn't be more proud of you." Then he slapped her on the behind and said, “Now go out there and show ‘em what you’re made of!” Ariana laughed at the butt-slap. Her dad was always knew how to put a smile on her face. They all embraced each other for the last time in a long time. "I love you so much," Ariana sobbed out.
"We love you, too, Ariana," her father said. "Oh, before I forget, I brought you something.” He pulled out a dark brown hair scrunchy and put it around her wrist. “I thought you might want at least one of these,” he said, “in case you get sweaty. I know how much you hate that. Stay strong, and remember why you're doing this. We will see you soon." He gave her a quick wink, put his arm around his wife, and walked out the front door.
Slowly, Ariana stepped into the elevator and pushed the down button. The doors slid closed, and the image of her parents holding each other was seared on her brain. It was then that she broke down. She slid down the walls as the elevator glided downward. Then she let herself cry without any shame or refrain. Her entire body shook with each sob, something she had never experienced before. But no more than ten seconds later, the elevator started to slow down. Then it felt like it was going sideways. She stopped crying out of confusion. An elevator going sideways? Then it seemed to go back up. What? What on earth was going on?! After about two or three minutes of all these direction changes, the elevator finally stopped. Ariana sat as still as she could, preparing herself for whatever came next. Then she saw some sort of bluish gas leaking into the elevator. She panicked and tried desperately to get higher. It was no use, there was no way out. The gas climbed up. Ariana’s blood left her face. Was she going to die right then and there? She tried to hold her breath, but soon found herself breathing in the fumes. Oddly enough, Ariana couldn’t really smell anything like she had expected. After a few breaths of it, she started feeling dazed. She found herself losing focus and control. The walls appeared to be moving before her eyes, even though she knew very well they weren't moving. Ariana found herself feeling more and more tired, and the last thing she remembered was the flickering ceiling light of the elevator.

Alrighty well, there it is. Hope you enjoyed it! That was only like the first 2 pages or so, so if you'd like me to keep posting this story let me know! I hope you guys have a great week! Love you all!


heidikins said...



You're a great writer!! What is the test? What's the blue gas?! WHAT HAPPENS!

I'd love to read this when you are done! Kudos to you, girly! This is fantastic!


Miss Erika said...

Um totally got my hooked. Please continue.

Ari said...

Wow, I love the name you chose, I'm honored. The story is fabulous and YES please post more or send me a copy. I would so love to read it. You are an amazing writer and an amazing girl. Love you tonz!!